


A Malkuthian Shadow

by JessicaX



Category: Tales of Series, Tales of the Abyss
Genre: Bisexual Character, Bisexual Female Character, Exploration, F/F, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Panic, Hotel Sex, Impersonation, Lesbian Sex, Sauna, foot worship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 18:29:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12917700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaX/pseuds/JessicaX
Summary: Every time Natalia and Asch cross paths, the Kimlascan princess looks like a flame gone out. Her desire to grow closer to her childhood friend is transparent. Finally, Tear decides she's stood by and watched this happen for long enough and does something about it - though her "something" leaves much to be desired. [Also Known As "Tear's Costume Title Has Unexpected Side Effects On Princesses"]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Characters and locations © Namco Bandai. Story/plot © me! All rights reserved. Rated M for mature themes (edging into nsfw in the final chapter). Characters depicted are of consenting age. Contains game spoilers. Set (generally) in the middle of the final act of the game. More notes below.
> 
> THEME SONG: "[Amazing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WdrdNMp9_Q)" by Foxes

Mystearica Grants wasn't sure why she thought her idea was a sound one. Intriguing, sure, and possibly beneficial for a dear friend. But not sound.

Why had she come to the island of Nam Cobanda? Their last visits to the hideaway for misfits and artists had been tedious and annoying. Anise seemed to enjoy the performances, and Guy was always fond of watching the Fon machines whir and spin. But it was a waste of their time; they should have been hunting Asch and Mohs, and trying to destroy the miasma. The fate of their entire world hung in the balance…

"See anything you like?"

Not that the world was her only concern. Recently, a more personal one had come to the forefront of her mind that she tried her best to ignore — to put the needs of the world ahead of the needs of their team, as they had all done so many times before. But as long as they were near Radessia, what was the harm in stopping in to pursue something else of importance?

"Ma'am? Are you alright?"

"Oh," Tear muttered, blinking. "Sorry, I'm just… distracted."

The woman in the blue overalls chuckled as she watched the gentle-voiced sergeant pass her gloved fingertips over the fabrics hanging from the racks. Some of the costumes were rather plain, and some were so flamboyant she was sure no one in the history of Auldrant had ever worn such finery.

"I don't think that's quite the truth, is it, sweetie?"

"What?"

"You have something you're really focused on," the woman said with a twinkle in her eye.  _"I'm_  the distraction. Why are you wandering around backstage? I'm sure there's a reason."

Though she resented how pushy the woman was being, Tear couldn't pretend she wasn't a hundred per cent correct. There would be no harm in asking. "Do you have… people who can make costumes based on real people?"

"What real person?"

"Oh, maybe… Asch fon Fabre? O-or 'Asch The Bloody', I guess."

Her knowing smile made Tear's stomach clench in fear. "Ohhh. You're lucky; Noir already had that one commissioned."

"What?! I mean… why?"

"Why do  _you_  want it?"

Tear looked away, tucking a light brown strand of hair behind her ear. "None of your concern. I have Gald, if that's the issue. And I'd like it right away if possible."

"Now I have  _two_  questions: why do you want it, and what's your hurry?" When Tear only pressed her lips together into a thin line, she laughed and said, "Alright, I can see it's important to ya. Even if you're being so stubborn. Right this way."

Something was strange about the closet the woman reached for. Though it didn't make any sense, and there was no real basis for the thought, she had the distinct impression that it had been empty before the woman reached for the handle. She threw it wide…

And there was a complete replica of the armour belonging to Asch. Every detail was perfect; the red accents at the tops of the bicep-length gloves and the thigh-high boots, the two belts… even the red wig perched atop the mannequin looked exactly like Asch's long hair. Much to her surprise, a prop sword in the exact likeness of the Key of Lorelei he carried also stood in the corner.

"Well?"

"Uhm…" Blinking, she asked, "Is there any way… do you have four-inch heels?"

"We have three-inch lifts we can put in the sole of the boots, which should boost you up about four inches. All costuming departments have those." The woman didn't even have to walk far to retrieve them for Tear, and she put them into her hands.

"Oh." Blinking down at the lifts, which were quite springy and comfortable, she asked, "How much?"

"Hmm. Let's say fifty."

"Fifty Gald? That's all?!"

"Yes. And one other thing." Her finger came up to waver between their two faces. "When you're through with the costume, try to bring it back in one piece."

Tear squinted at the woman, glancing between her and the flawless reproduction. "How do you know I won't keep it?"

"Just a feeling. But I think we both know I'm right."

"Fine." She parted with the Gald, then said, "Have it sent to the Albiore — discreetly, if you can."

"Of course. Pleasure doing business. Good luck."

All the way back to their ship, Tear tried to shake the feeling that she was making some kind of egregious mistake. It refused to budge.

~ o ~

The Seventh Fonist had meant to make use of the Asch costume that night. However, nerves got the better of her; this was a stupid plan. Ludicrous! How was she supposed to assume this wouldn't come across as pandering, or condescending? Every day, she felt less and less sure of following through and more certain that it was the world's most ridiculous notion and that she ought to forget about it completely.

What did she know about matters of the heart, anyway? This had always been an area of human consciousness that defied her best attempts to understand. Luke fon Fabre, Asch's less-standoffish clone, seemed drawn to her but she had no idea whether or not he was interested in being more than allies. They were bound together in the fight to stop her brother Van from annihilating the entire population of humanity and replacing them with mindless replicas, simply because he hated the so-called "righteousness" of the priests' beloved Score. That kind of dependence made people  _need_ each other. She couldn't assume anything deeper with Luke, and her inexperience with romance made it foolish to try.

So she had decided she would abandon the plan… until the conversation they had nearly a week after her trip to Nam Cobanda.

" _Every_  time."

"D-don't be ridiculous," Princess Natalia Luzu Kimlasca-Lanvaldear responded as they guided the Albiore through the skies toward Keterburg. They were all quite sweaty and nasty from their latest battle and needed both a hot bath and a decent night's sleep before returning to their ongoing quest.

"You dooooo," Anise Tatlin jeered, kicking her short legs back and forth. Though she was a teenager, her size and exuberance put one in mind of a primary schoolgirl. "Literally every time we see Asch, you blush."

Natalia ran a hand through her shoulder-length blond hair to try and hide her embarrassment, if only for a moment. "You're making things up. I have never blushed; princesses don't blush. Or sweat."

"Then what do you call that moisture all over your face and neck?" Guy Cecil asked with a good-natured chuckle. He was making things worse, but Tear knew he honestly didn't mean to.

"Guy! That's- how rude!"

He flinched away from her outburst. "Wh-what did I say?"

"Who knows with Natalia?" Luke griped. Though he did reach over to pat her shoulder. "And it's no big deal; we're all pretty gross after that last fight. I really hope we're done with the Sword Dancer by now!"

"Hmm," Jade Curtiss mused, adjusting his spectacles. "I rather hope we aren't. The data from facing such a fierce opponent will likely prove invaluable in our future skirmishes."

The rest of their troupe reeled back from him, surprised by his callousness, as per usual. It was Natalia who spoke up. "Would it be worth it if we all died fighting him?"

"Of course. Though not to us, obviously; we would have to trust those who came after to make use of said data." He gave one of his usual careless shrugs, a glint of amusement in his eyes. "After all, it's rather conceited of us to assume we're the  _only_  ones capable of carrying on this crusade against Van's opposing crusade. Wouldn't you agree?"

As always, Jade was pushing, teasing the team purely to see what their reactions would be. Tear had noticed that literally every situation was a science experiment; even the social situations most people would never think to examine beyond their surface. She didn't always understand  _why_  he was doing it, but it was a recurring theme nonetheless.

"Fine," Natalia sighed. "As long as we agree this is a lot more important than whether or not I do foolish things in front of Asch."

Jade's hand went to his chin. "Hmm. Is it, though?"

"YES! Oh, just… leave me alone!"

They should all have respected her wishes. But Tear had to say something. It was the shadow of sadness in Natalia's eyes, even beneath the blush and the frustration with Jade, that made it impossible to stay silent.

"You don't do foolish things," she offered.

"What?" Natalia asked.

"You don't. I…" Her throat tried to close up, but she managed to continue. "Asch is merely focused on the mission — retrieving the Key and the Jewel, destroying the miasma. It has nothing to do with you."

The princess tried to smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Oh, I know. It never has anything to do with me. Asch just… knows what his duty is. Maybe after this is all settled, he can feel more comfortable worrying about some old childhood friend again, but for now… I understand why I can't be important to him. Not when the fate of the world is…"

Natalia never finished the sentence. No one else dared pick up the dangling conversation, and so it faded away as the ship came in for a landing just outside the city walls. Tear didn't dare to make a big deal about things she didn't fully comprehend in the first place. Not in front of everyone in a way that was sure to make Natalia yet more embarrassed than she already was.

Perhaps her plan would be needed, after all.

~ o ~

The hour grew late. Everyone would be in their hotel rooms by that point, tucked in and snoring away. Only Jade might still be up, but Tear knew he would be poring over his notes on the Score and their enemies, trying to gain them an edge. Either she made her move now, or she would probably never get the chance — either because they succeeded and they parted ways, or they did not succeed and all would be meaningless.

Though she had intended to slip in unannounced, she couldn't bring herself to do that. A quick, quiet knock on the door was the best middle ground she could manage.

"Hm?" came a somewhat sleepy voice from the other side. Tear took that as license to enter. She had just eased the door shut when it added, "Who's there?"

This had been one of the roadblocks keeping her from going through with the plan. Every time she tried to imagine how she could have a conversation without giving herself away, she drew a blank. Finally, it had come to her in a flash: the one way she  _might_  get away with this. If it didn't work, then so be it.

"Shh," Tear whispered as she approached the bed, trying to pitch her voice as low as she could. She could never allow herself to speak normally, or the ruse would instantly be over. "I can't stay long. And please, keep the light off."

Natalia sat up in bed, a hand pressed to her heart through her silk nightgown.  _"Asch?!_  Wh-what are you doing here- why are you in my room this late?"

Tear knew that Natalia would at least be able to see her silhouette in the vague moonlight from the window. That was why the details of her costume were so important to get right; why she only trusted the costumers of Nam Cobanda Isle to produce it. Between the costume, wig, and whispered voice, she hoped it would be convincing. She ran her hand over the wig as if it were her real hair, though she was careful not to jostle it so much that the pins holding it against her actual brown locks might come loose.

"Because I had to speak with you alone. Or else… I couldn't do this. Not in front of that replica." It had to be believable. Even though she hated calling Luke that, Natalia would see through her charade immediately if she didn't copy  _some_  of his mannerisms.

"Oh. But… what is it you want?" Her surprise was wearing off, replaced by wariness.

"To speak with you."

"Why? You've never seemed to make that a priority before."

Tear didn't take it personally; Asch was the one who had to answer for his callousness, and she was not Asch. But while in the disguise, she had to behave as he would, so she sighed. "I deserve that. But during our last few meetings, I could tell you wished to say more. I have tried to focus on duty, but… your sadness haunts me."

Her clear eyes slid away, pointing toward the door again. "I didn't mean to distract you. Don't be distracted anymore; please just… ignore me."

"I do enough of that as is. With good purpose, even if it means I cause you pain." Was she being a little too theatrical? It didn't sound much like Asch, so she tried to refocus. "Anyway, uh… please, go on."

"Go on with what?"

"With what you've wanted to say to me. Trying to work toward our goals keeps me so preoccupied that I think I've hurt you without meaning to. So… anything you've wanted to say to me, or shout at me, I wanted to try giving you a chance to do that."

Natalia merely sat for a moment, hands clenching on the sheets draped over her lap. "What could I say? You have a mission. There's… nothing that can be done to fix this until we save Auldrant, anyway."

"Say it now. When all this is over we could say more, do more. That's what I was trying to tell myself, but it's not enough. You look so sad every time you see me; that isn't right. Isn't fair to you."

"Is there something wrong with your voice?"

"What?" She cleared her throat and tried to pitch it even lower before whispering, "I haven't been feeling well. Just a little tickle."

"Well… okay, if you're sure? I could cast a spell to-"

"No! I mean, uh… it's not worth wasting your strength."

"Alright." With a little sigh, she focused on her hands again. "I still don't know what you want me to say. But if you're sure…"

Tear nodded enough so that it could be seen in the low light. "Yes. I want to hear this; I  _need_  to."

"This is so frustrating! I can't think of anything, except that… I miss you, Asch. And I wish you would just journey with us; I think we could solve this world's problems so much faster if we all worked together!"

"I know. I'll explain why we couldn't later." And he would, if Tear had anything to say about it. Both Luke and Natalia deserved answers for his stubborn refusal to cooperate.

"Why not now?"

"Because it isn't time. I know that isn't satisfying, but… please, there has to be more you aren't saying."

She wanted Natalia to really unload. There was a lot of hurt and pain weighing on her, and if she could get that off her chest, she would probably spend less time looking out of the Albiore's windows with a forlorn sadness none of them could touch. That was the goal of this exercise. Maybe it would do no good, but she couldn't bear to see such a kind-hearted princess carrying around so much agony. It was  _unjust_.

"Asch… I can't." Her voice was strained, but resigned. "You can't talk to me, anyway, which is mostly why I'm upset. So how am I supposed to talk to you?"

"Try. And I'll have heard you."

"Heard me what? Am I supposed to confess that I'm in love with you?" Even as Tear's pulse skyrocketed, worried that this conversation would be far more than she bargained for, Natalia scoffed. "Come on. We've known each other our whole lives! Well… I guess we haven't, but…"

"I wish I could have done things differently." Which was probably true; she didn't doubt Asch had deep regrets about missing out on so much of Natalia's life, even if he might have no desire to get to know her currently. Only he could know that.

"I know you thought the God-Generals were doing what was right, but… you could have found a way to come back into my life, Lu-  _Asch_."

Letting out a little chuckle she didn't truly feel, Tear breathed, "That's just it; I couldn't as long as the replica was around. He had to completely take my place. Not just a little."

"Maybe he has." They were both silent for a moment. "Do you even care about our promise to each other? I know we can't marry while the world is in danger… you probably don't want to, anyway. But does it mean  _nothing_  to you?"

Tear's heart was breaking. "Natalia… you mean so much. Not just to me, but to many people. Your friends would all die for you." This was what she had been hoping to say, and she was glad of the opportunity. "You're a kind, compassionate, noble woman now. And everyone can see that. Our childhood promise was important then, but who you have grown up to be is much more important. So… stay with Luke- I mean, the replica. Do your best for the good of the world and for yourself."

For a few seconds, Natalia pondered those words. At first, she thought maybe they had worked; that she had helped her get past her melancholy. That would be both astounding and satisfying. But as it turned out, she was mistaken.

"Something's wrong."

"Hmm?"

"You actually called him 'Luke' just now. I thought you hated him."

Tear coughed into her fist, trying to lower her whisper again. "Slip of the tongue."

"Under all that grumpiness… you  _like_  him. Don't you?"

"No." It was very hard for her to suppress her own personal reaction to such a question. Much though she didn't want to admit it, she had been drawing gradually closer to Luke. Ever since he discovered he was a replica, he had changed so much; become a kinder, gentler, more caring soul. And some of that caring was definitely focused on Tear. Her face was already heating up just from Natalia mentioning it. But she couldn't give that away with her voice while she was impersonating Asch!

"Hmm… alright." But she could tell the princess wasn't convinced; she was simply too polite to keep pressing the point when "Asch" was obviously uncomfortable with the discussion. Unlike Anise or Jade, who would have kept needling him relentlessly.

"We're not here to talk about that copy." But then again, they had already covered the main topic. "I'll… leave you be. It's late and you should be sleeping."

Even in the low light, the sadness that stole across Natalia's face was evident. "Oh."

"We'll meet again soon. And perhaps, when all this is over…"

"Of course." Smiling bravely, she squared her shoulders before adding, "Thank you for coming to check on me, Asch. Even if I'm still not completely sure of why you did."

"Neither am I." That much was pure honesty. Tear really had no idea why it suddenly become so important to cheer her teammate up in such a harebrained fashion. Maybe it was the one or two moments she had caught Natalia crying when she thought no one was looking. Maybe it was just that she felt a duty to a fellow woman who seemed to be suffering so much.

"Will… you come to visit me again? It doesn't have to be soon. But I like talking to you this way, without you feeling like you need to act so aloof and manly."

Remembering her current role, Tear folded her arms over her falsely-masculine chest and scoffed, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's alright. You probably think I'm trying to tease you, but I was just stating fact. All that posturing… it's not the Luke that I grew up around. Just a role that you play so everyone will take you seriously."

"Enough. I need to go." Clearing her throat, she added, "And… I may act like I don't remember that we even had this conversation the next time we meet. But please never think that you're completely unimportant to me just because of how I act. You have never been unimportant."

"Oh, I am," she laughed bitterly, wadding up the sheets between her fingers. "I'm a decent archer and can weave few healing spells, but other than that I'm pretty replaceable."

"Don't say that!" Tear found herself hissing, taking a step closer to the bed. "You're a beloved princess and a… a bastion of peace! And your healing spells are of great assistance to your team!"

There was a hint of suspicion in Natalia's eyes again. "You really do sound different tonight. But… anyway, you're wrong about that. We have an incredible healer with us. Tear is so much stronger, braver, and more capable with Fonic hymns than I'll ever be."

Such praise was so unexpected that Tear fell completely silent, a hand over her mouth. She meant to continue to build Natalia up, to both validate her as a person and reassure her that Asch didn't see her as worthless — even if that turned out to be a lie. No one could know that until the man himself broke his surly silence and actually voiced his feelings, if he had any buried under all that anger. But suddenly, the princess had turned the tables on her and  _she_ was the flattered one. Someone so regal really thought so highly of her?

Meanwhile, Natalia seemed to misinterpret the silence. "Alright, I know. You want me to acknowledge that I'm an asset to my friends. I guess they wouldn't want me along if I weren't."

"Yes, that's… that's better." After that awkward recovery, she took a step toward the door. "As I said, you will remain close to my mind as I do what must be done. Until we meet again-"

"Wait!" The word was said loudly instead of whispered, and Tear worried that she wouldn't be able to keep this meeting a secret if the others were awoken. Even though the hotel in Keterburg was quite expensive and well-built, the rooms weren't entirely soundproof.

But when she turned, she saw she had a new problem. Natalia had stood from the bed and looked as if she wanted to dash to her side. Though she raised a hand to ward her off, Natalia still took a step forward.

"Go back to sleep."

"I can't. Just… I need to ask you one thing first. Just one."

Gritting her teeth, Tear hissed, "Fine." It was what Asch would have done.

"Who am I to you?"

"You… are Princess Natalia. And a friend from the past. No more." She hated having to say that, but if she said anything else, it might lead to much worse misunderstandings in the future. Already, she had a feeling this was the worst mistake of her young life, but she wouldn't exacerbate the problem.

That feeling surged in potency as she felt two hands falling against the collar of her uniform. Tear took a step back, but Natalia pressed forward until she had her pinned against the door. All seemed dark around them, as Natalia's body was blocking out most of the light, far away as the window was.

"N-Natalia, please!"

"That's really all?" she insisted. Her eyes weren't simpering, or angry, or morose. It was an even, penetrating gaze.

"Yes! Now… stop this, I need- I really should have left already!"

"Asch, why can't you just be honest with me? Either…" Her voice tightened. "Either tell me I mean nothing to you, and you're only doing this out of some kind of weird obligation, or… or tell me… tell me that we could mean more to each other! But stop lying! I can tell you are, I just don't know what the lie is!"

Tear's throat worked, but she couldn't come up with another sound. This was definitely a disaster. As Natalia pressed in, she raised her hands to grasp at her shoulders, though her grip was so weak that she couldn't force the insistent princess away.

"Nothing? Really?"

"Natalia, I…" Her face was drawing closer, and she went entirely still. Terrified.

"I've wanted to be with you since we were children. Even before I understood what it meant to… to…"

Taking one bracing breath, she hissed, "This is… not proper. I can't answer you right now. Please, just… just ask again another ti-"

That was all the warning she had before sweet lips were attacking her own. It could be described no other way: hands clenching on her lapels, holding her in place against the door as Natalia kissed her deep, lips pursed hard. Tear had no idea whether or not it was a real kiss, because she'd never had one before. And now…

' _Natalia is kissing me,'_  she thought in sheer alarm.  _'This can't be happening!'_

The worst part was that she wanted it to stop, but couldn't seem to do anything to make that happen. Natalia's grip was not fierce, she could have thrown her off easily — but her arms wouldn't obey her. Even the kiss was relatively gentle in spite of that initial burst of urgency, and did not feature an open mouth, which would have terrified her in all new ways!

Finally, the princess seemed to realise that her Asch was not returning the gesture, had not swept her into her arms and given her all she wanted. The lips withdrew, and the eyes sought shadowy ones slightly above her own.

"That… didn't feel the way I expected. It was… you were so gentle, and…"

Now that her mouth was free, Tear tried to form words, but what was there to say? It had been such a strange moment in her life that she had no idea where to begin. Eventually, Natalia seemed to notice that she was getting no response, and she took a half-step backward.

"Was I… was it not good?"

"What?"

"My kiss. Did I not do it right? I've never tried…"

She looked so forlorn and horrified that Tear answered before she had the chance to think. "The kiss was fine.  _You_  were fine; it's not that you did anything wrong! Please don't- don't  _ever_  think that, Natalia."

"Then what is the matter? You just…" Her hand crept up to hover just below her lips, and she whispered, "You really don't have those feelings, do you? For me. It's alright if you don't! But I can tell now that you… that what I did was over the line, and you weren't ready, or never wanted it, or… I don't know. But thank you for trying to protect my feelings. I'm just sorry it b-became necessary."

She wanted to comfort her more, to wrap her in a warm embrace and tell her that Asch did love her. But she couldn't outright lie; if it turned out Asch didn't love Natalia, it would break her heart so much worse to have been led to believe he did.

"You should go now," she said with a brave little smile. Tear was sure her eyes were watering, though she was having trouble telling in the low light. "I'll… yes, I think I'd like to get back to sleep."

"Natalia?"

But the princess walked calmly back to her bed and threw herself onto it face-first, shivering. To her credit, she was crying silently enough that the sobs couldn't be heard, and Tear only knew she was because of how close they were to each other in that moment.

This was her chance to exit. So why wasn't she taking it? She knew why. She just needed to find the right words before she could. And the right way to convey them.

Natalia stilled even more when she felt lips pressing into the sole of her bare foot — the nearest and most exposed part of her. Tear tried not to think too much about what she was doing or she might not have been able to go through with it. Either way, it was over in a fraction of a second, and once she pulled back she could see the misty eyes of the Kimlascan princess wide and focused upon her.

"You are worthy of love. I'm sorry I'm not the one for you here and now, when you need love the most. But please… don't think you are unworthy. That is the worst lie."

The confused green eyes seemed to be flicking between her foot and Tear, then focused on the latter as she stood and returned to the door.

"Will you… come back to see me?"

"We will see each other again. And I want you to remember what I said; you are brave, and strong, and beautiful. You deserve someone who can treat you as  _you_  deserve."

Then she slipped out, breathing a sigh of relief only when she was down the hallway. Near her own room's door, she heard Natalia's click open, so she hurriedly dashed inside and dove under the covers, but no one came knocking.

It seemed she had pulled off her charade, after all. But at what cost? Now Natalia probably thought now more than ever that Asch was harbouring secret feelings of love for her. There was no future in which this would not result in the worst of complications, for Natalia alone and for their entire team. And worse than that…

' _She kissed me,'_  Tear thought again in complete shock as she slowly got ready for bed.  _'And… I didn't hate it. Am I losing my mind?'_

_To Be Continued…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTES: Hi! I know, I know, I'm supposed to be working on  _Precious Little Knives,_  and  _Bind Us,_  and  _Coven_... but sometimes inspiration strikes and you're powerless to resist. At least this one's REALLY short comparatively!
> 
> It's a little funny that out of all the  _Tales_  titles I could write a fic for, it ended up being  _Abyss._  My all-time favourite is  _Symphonia,_  though the one closest to my heart is  _Destiny,_  since it was the first I ever played and it captured my attention immediately. By now, I own just about every "Mothership" title in the series that's available in North America, save one or two. But none of this probably matters to readers who haven't played them so I'll move on; you should be able to pick up on most of the plot of  _Abyss_  by reading this fic without needing to pregame.
> 
> Tear and Natalia are definitely a crack ship. In fact, I don't really ship them, but I do like the camaraderie they share. A near-sisterly relationship, and for two women who basically have never had real friendships before the events of the game, that's important. However, when I had the random idea "What if Tear dressed up as Asch to make Natalia feel less crappy about him being a giant bag of dicks?" all hope was lost. It had to be done! And as you know, I basically just write shippy things all the time, so...
> 
> I hope you like this one as much as I liked writing it!
> 
> _Jessex_


	2. Chapter 2

By morning, a groggy Tear Grants had almost forgotten about the entire incident. She dressed and showered, and then began to make ready to depart soon.

Until she saw the wig.

"Damn," she cursed as she hurriedly packed it in her trunk, the memories flooding back. There was no way she could have kissed Natalia the night before, was there? But she knew she wasn't drunk or confused by an enemy spell. This was her stone-cold rational brain telling her that the two healers had drifted a  _lot_  closer than she ever dreamed possible.

Or desirable. Though flustered by the attentions, she had definitely never wanted to know Natalia in a more intimate way. Or any other woman, for that matter. So why wasn't she able to brush this off? Why was the back of her mind torturing her about a kiss that amounted to nothing?

A knock at the door interrupted her frantic contemplation. Pacing over to yank it open, she beheld the princess in question. She was again dressed in her usual white-and-blue tunic, looking as distinguished and ready for adventure as ever she had — other than her besotted, transported expression.

"Come in?"

"Tear, you will  _never_  believe what happened last night!"

Already, Tear felt dread welling up in her stomach. But she had to suck it up and address the situation before it got even more of control. "Uhhhh, come in," she repeated while stepping aside. The less people to overhear, the better.

"He was really here! I… I still can't believe he came just to talk to me!"

Bumping the door shut behind the two of them, Tear tried not to smile ruefully. "Who?"

"Who else? Asch!" Natalia said in exasperation. "He flowed into my room like a shadow in the night, just to check on me! And I thought he hated me, Tear!" Both her pale hands pressed into her face. "Oh… I think I may have messed up, but I'm not sure!"

"Calm down, Princess. What do you think you messed up?"

Rubbing her hands up and down, she sighed, "It was all going so well… I mean, relatively speaking. And then I…"

Tear could feel her ears warming, and a bead of sweat rolled down her back beneath her brown military uniform. "Then… you kissed."

"Yes!" Natalia gasped in surprise. "H-how did you know?"

"Just a… lucky guess." Pulling at her collar, she asked, "Why do you think it was, um, a mistake?"

Twisting her fingers together as she paced back and forth, she began to ramble, "He seemed to just want to check in on me, and make sure I was doing alright, but I was- and he didn't even do anything to m-make me think kissing him was alright, but I did it anyway!"

"No!" The minute she gasped it, she could hear how insincere her pitiful acting sounded. Luckily, Natalia was very distracted.

"Yes! Ohhhh I feel like such a fool! Imagine, a princess throwing herself at a duke like a… a common street tramp!" Before Tear could reprimand her for looking down upon said tramps, she went on, "He was so sweet to me afterward, though; told me that just because he couldn't return my feelings didn't mean I wasn't worth returning them… I don't know, maybe he does like me more than he can admit? I would understand that! We're at war with the God-Generals, there's no time for… for me to be so selfish!"

Tear passed a hand over her eyes as she tried to regain control. Even though her voice was shaking, she told her, "Calm down, Princess. I mean… what happened? Why do you think there are more feelings there, under the surface? You said that, uhh…"

Her words petered out when she suddenly found a stretch of shiny black stocking inches from her face. "This!"

"What?!"

"He kissed me back! Sure, it was on my foot instead of my face, but don't you see?!"

As the toes wiggled within the stocking, Tear leaned slightly to one side to look into Natalia's passionate eyes. "Sorry, but… I don't. Does that mean something special in Kimlasca?" May Lorelei strike her dead if she had accidentally initiated some arcane Kimlascan mating ritual!

"Well… I mean, not specifically. But it means he really likes me! Seriously, can you imagine kissing a stinky foot of someone you  _didn't_  like? At least somewhat? So… s-so what if he does love me and just can't admit it? Maybe because he doesn't want to show any weakness that General Grants could exploit?"

"Oh, that's-" When Natalia pushed the foot closer, she reached up to force it away. "Hey! Listen, I'm trying to help, but I really just think you need to take a breath, o-or something! I don't know!"

Slipping her white boot back on and pulling it to halfway up her thigh, Natalia sighed, "You're probably right. Oh… Tear, I'm sorry. We don't know each other especially well. But you're my only friend- sorry, only  _woman_ -friend. The others are boys and won't understand, and Anise is…"

"Anise," Tear finished for her, and they both laughed. Then she raised a shaking hand to rest on her shoulder. "And… I'm probably not much better than they are. I don't understand these things; I'm a military mind."

"Yeah, but at least you aren't teasing me and telling me I'm making it all up in my head."

Tear's heart seized in her chest in sympathy. "O-oh… no, it isn't… I don't think that. I'm just not sure it's as deep as you want it to be. But you'll never know until you see him again."

"I guess not." A little smile blossomed on her lips. "That kiss though… even it might be the only one we ever have…"

"What about it?" As afraid of the answer as she was, she had to know. The whispers in the back of her mind needed to know if it had been something more than just a terrible moment to suffer through.

"He was sweet, Tear. Gentle… almost feminine, but strong…" The blush in her cheeks was very real and very rosy, and Tear could feel her own trying to match it. "I had given up on experiencing that with my Luke- or Asch. Either one! And even though I could never kiss him again, I'm glad I got to do it once."

The last bit distracted her from her own mortification. "You can never do it again? Why?"

"Hmm? Oh, well… he was scared. Or maybe 'alarmed' is a better word. I feel too guilty that I made him do something for which he wasn't ready to ever try it again."

"Oh."

"Besides, it's alright," she went on, crossing to look out the window. "I can wait for him. Now that I know he has  _some_  feelings for me, even if they aren't the same as mine…"

This was going down a dangerous path. She needed to tell Natalia that she shouldn't wait around for him. Because the real Asch might not have those feelings at all. But before she could speak up, Natalia was already heading back toward the door, having taken her silence as meaning their talk was over.

"Thanks for listening, Tear. I'm going to check in with the others."

"Wait, I…" Swallowing hard, she asked, "You're sure? About… all this?"

The smile on the princess's fair face was serene, confident. "He told me I was brave, and strong, and beautiful, and… worthy of love. What more do I need to hear?"

Then she was gone, and Tear had a real problem. One that only had one clear solution — not that it was terribly palatable.

~ o ~

"You need another day here?"

Tear sighed as she rubbed at her face. "Luke, don't make me repeat myself."

"Why? I mean, Noelle said the Albiore needed some more repairs, but like, it's nothing we can't get done in Sheridan. And they're better equipped for all that, anyway."

"We should make sure the ship is skyworthy before we take off. Crashing is not going to make us move any faster."

Luke's crimson eyebrows narrowed as he stared at her, and Tear did her best to look completely unaffected. Detached. A skill that she excelled at most of the time. "Uhhh… fine, I guess. I'll ask the others."

"Master!" Mieu piped up, hopping next to his heels. "Why does Tear look like she's going to be sick?"

"Quiet," he said, picking up the cheagle by his blue-furred neck and holding a finger to his lips. He was still a bit unkind toward the creature, but leagues better than when they all first met. "It's probably something personal."

His round eyes went even rounder, and Tear had to suppress a comment about how cute the little fluffball was. "Personal? Like what?"

"I don't know! Maybe it's her lady-time."

That made Tear scowl. "My 'lady-time'? Really?"

Luke was at least smart enough not to respond to that.

~ o ~

Tear's knuckles rapped on Natalia's door for a second time that evening, just after midnight. Maybe this wasn't the best idea but it was the only one she had; it was this, or wait for everything to explode spectacularly in her face at the least inopportune time. Besides, it was the right thing to do. Glancing around nervously, Tear slipped inside.

Natalia was already seated up in bed when she had been bade enter. "Asch" raised a finger to her lips to shush her, then turned back to ease the door shut quietly.

"Hello again," Natalia whispered — from immediately behind her.

"AH!" she gasped out. Just barely remembering to whisper, she hissed over her shoulder, "Why would you sneak up on me like that?!"

"Sorry!" Taking a half-step back, Natalia waited to be addressed again. Tear was distressed to see this nightgown was markedly shorter than the last one, falling around her knees. The princess was making an  _effort_  now that she thought her "love" might return. This was already out of control, and she had to make a concentrated effort to bring it back into some kind of manageable form.

"It's alright." Clearing her throat and trying to make the sound deeper, she went on in a whisper, "How are you this evening?"

Smiling slightly, she grabbed the hem of her nightie and curtsied slightly. "Very well, sir. Now, what's with being so formal suddenly?"

"I'm not. I just… needed to talk with you again."

"Wait," she cut Tear off. "Before you do, I have something to say. And it's important."

"Oh? Go on." But she didn't. She merely took another few steps back, fiddling with the hem of her gown. "Or… don't."

Shaking her head from side to side violently enough to make her hair bob in the moonlight, she said, "Sorry again. I'm nervous." Clearing her throat, she squared her shoulders. "First, um… I very much wanted to apologise for my behaviour. You clearly weren't ready for me to kiss you, and… and I know I made you uncomfortable, so I regret having done that without your permission, or your wanting me to."

"Oh." Putting her hands on her hips, hoping the stance looked vaguely more masculine, she announced, "I forgive you. Please don't worry about it anymore."

"W-well, I…. yes. Thank you." Bowing slightly from the waist, she rose to find Tear doing the same, and laughed. "You don't have to bow, too!"

"I do. Because… I also owe you an apology. Princess Natalia, I'm-"

"One more thing." Natalia's fingers pressed into her lips, and Tear felt her pulse quicken. "I wasn't quite finished. That part was… necessary, and I'm glad you forgive me, but I have more to say."

She nodded. What else could she do? The soft digits against her lips were already thrilling her in ways she wished they weren't. This was  _wrong!_  Not only was Natalia someone she never felt that sort of attraction towards, for a multitude of reasons, but Tear was there under false pretenses. Why did she still feel such a rush? Was she so starved for physical contact that even a slight touch of a woman's hand would make her heart ache for more?

"Though I'm sorry for the kiss being unannounced… I'm not sorry for the kiss itself. Because I do have very…  _very_  strong feelings for you, Asch. And I wonder if you could ever return those feelings."

"Please, I already told y-"

"I know! I know you did, and I'm not…" Shaking her head again, she clasped her hands just under her chin. "I know you can't right now. You said. But I felt your desire in that kiss, a-and in how you kissed my foot afterward. So if there's anything holding you back, but there might not be in the future, then I'll wait for you."

"You shouldn't do that," she warned her flatly, clenching her fists at her sides. "You should find happiness with someone else."

"There's no one else! Asch, I lo-"

"SHH!" To stop her from speaking those accursed words, Tear dashed forward and covered her mouth with her gloved hand. Natalia let out a surprised squeak, but didn't otherwise move or respond. "You can't say that! You… you don't mean it!"

Finally reaching up to grasp the hand, she stared up at "him" for a long moment. "Something's very different about you. I keep trying to figure it out, and I know you think I'm… it's like there's this rough outer layer that's been peeled away at last. Maybe that's stupid."

Hanging her head in shame, Tear turned to impatiently stalk toward the bed. Seeing that only gave her even more complex feelings, so she turned and paced the other way instead, bracing her hands against the chest of drawers.

"It's not stupid. I… it's my turn now. Unless you have to say anything more?"

One little hand rested on the crook of her arm. She felt stupid, just from that alone, and from everything else that had come before. "Go on. Please, I'm listening."

"Fine. I… I can't do this anymore. Even for your sake. It's so wrong; I knew it was, but I thought it could do some good! But clearly, I'm just ruining your life."

"What? You mean… searching for the God-Generals and the Key of Lorelei?"

"Not that. It's still important, I suppose." Even if Tear thought Asch was being too stubborn about not searching  _alongside_  them, she could at least concede he was trying to do the right thing. "But… I… I've been…"

"What? You can say anything to me." Her face was suddenly closer, but not pushing in for another kiss. Just closer to hear her every word.

Which was exactly why Tear couldn't just come clean and tell her who she was. Even though she had planned on it, she didn't want to see the hatred in Natalia's eyes whenever she looked at her. It would be unbearable. So she did the next best thing.

"I'm… not really Asch."

"What?"

"Sorry. I knew he would never come and say what needed to be said on his own, so I… took his place. Became his shadow to do the work he neglected. I thought it might keep you from feeling so hurt by his refusal to acknowledge you if I came here, and reminded you of how important you are. Instead, I think… I think I did more harm than good. You have no idea how sorry I am to have misled you, or made you feel, um, certain things. If I'd known you would kiss me…"

Her voice faded, and she no longer knew what to say. The hand did disappear. After a brief moment, Natalia whispered in a fearful voice, "Who…?"

"I can't say. If I could, I would tell you right now. But I won't lie about who I'm  _not_  anymore." That was the best she could do: admit she wasn't Asch without divulging her true identity. It was honesty without needless pain for the both of them.

"Y-you… came to visit me… I don't even know you!" Her hand clutched at the neckline of her gown, obviously freshly afraid of being alone in her bedroom with a strange man.

"You might, and you might not. But don't be afraid; I'm taking my leave here and now. You'll never hear from me again. I only hope you'll remember what I said last night. That you're a true beauty, and a force of nature. Don't ever doubt that just because Asch can't see you. That's his failing, not yours."

Tear had paced all the way to the door when Natalia caught her arm again. So close! Sighing, she held still and waited.

"Whoever you are…" Another slight step closer. "Thank you."

"What?"

"Thank you," she repeated gently, a slight smile trying to erase the fear. "I do wish to know who's wearing this Asch-suit, but I suppose it doesn't really matter. I… I can appreciate what you tried to do for me."

Shocked at how well Natalia was taking this, she gaped at her for a long moment. Her eyes were still full of affection, even if she was shaking now when she hadn't been before. No matter what the circumstances, she still believed herself to be alone with a man she didn't know; there would be no being at ease around each other as she was with Asch.

"Natalia…"

"But I should have known. I mean, you're so gentle; even if Asch kissed me, it couldn't be like that." Thoughtfully, she tapped her chin. "Not Luke, either…"

Sighing, she turned away. "I'm sorry I can't be more forthcoming. Really."

"Can I try something?"

"What?" But already, hands were slipping around her waist. "What's- hey!"

"Just… trying something." Her face raised up, close to Tear's — a hair's breadth away. "I won't kiss you out of nowhere again. I still feel guilty for that. But I wondered… if I came in this close, how you would feel about it?"

"I…" How  _did_  she feel? It didn't matter, really; that wasn't the most urgent thing. "You would still do this even when I'm-" She had come close to saying "a woman", but stopped at the last instant. Why? Because she was afraid of what Natalia would say. But that didn't make the slightest amount of sense. Telling her she was a woman would definitely drive her away, so she  _should_  be seizing that opportunity.

Shouldn't she?

"I don't care who you are," Natalia whispered, lower lip trembling now as their breath intermingled. "Or, uh… what I mean is… I do. But I don't care about your name, your face… titles. Just who you are inside. The one who dressed up like someone else and came all the way here, just hoping to make me feel less sad… whoever you are, however you know I was missing Asch and upset, I'm… I've never had someone care about me this way. Not just about my staying alive, like my friends do. But you… care about my  _heart."_

The instant Natalia said it, she couldn't deny it was true. She did care. Maybe not to degree the princess was wishing, but she clearly considered it important enough to do everything of which she had been accused. Besides…

The lips were so close. And against all of her self-assurances, they were hard to resist. Having someone so open and welcoming of her affections made them grow within her from nothing. Or perhaps they grew from  _something_ , after all.

"W-wait," she breathed, pushing her lips aside at the last possible instant to land on Natalia's jawline. "We shouldn't, it's… I'm not someone you could ever be with."

"Are you my father? Or worse — Mohs?" When Tear shook her head, Natalia tittered, "Then I don't care. Whoever you are… my heart knows what it wants, and it wants the heart that tried to shield it from pain."

When did her hands begin pressing into Natalia's back through such a thin layer of silk? Her heart thumped even faster in her chest, louder in her ears. This was not only dangerous and bizarre, but it was happening so fast. Out of nowhere, she found herself whispering "Natalia" in a way she had never said that name before.

"What… can I call you?" she whispered back, her own fingers drifting up to play over the collar of the costume. "It doesn't have to be your name. It can be anything."

Without evening knowing why, Mystearica selected another short section of her full given name. "Ric."

"Ric. Alright…" Her hands slid up over the chestplate. Not that Natalia could have known what effect that had on Tear, feeling the slithering movement running past her peaks, but she had to fight down a pronounced shiver. "What do you want to do with me, right here, right now, Ric?"

"I… I don't know… I've never done this. Not with anyone, much less a princess."

"None of that," she admonished softly with a slight smile. "If I don't get to know who you are, you don't get to use me being a princess. No titles, no names. Just… you and me."

Her voice nearly broke, but she managed to maintain her whisper. "How can you be so, so… casual? Accepting? I might hurt you. Or… I might be someone that you would see in the light of day and never, ever be able to feel these feelings for…" To add insult to injury, she could feel her eyes swimming. "I don't understand…"

"Oh, Ric… come here." She kissed her cheek this time instead, and Tear appreciated the more moderate gesture. "Wow, you really are sensitive and sweet."

"I'm not. You didn't… I'm an idiot for doing this to you!" More kisses along her jawline, and she leaned into them even as she shivered, clung to Natalia like a lost little girl. She was so  _ashamed._  All it took was one person being kind and gentle with her, providing her with the physical comfort she'd been so long denied, and she came apart at the seams. It was pathetic.

And it was getting worse. Natalia's lips worked their way down her neck and back up, and when she felt Tear shiver she drew back and whispered, "Sorry. That wasn't appropriate to the moment, I'm… I just want you to feel less afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you, Prince- Natalia." Her hands passed up and down the back through the silk, and she could feel every flex of muscle, every dimple of flesh. Hear Natalia's shaky breath so close to her own ear. "I'm afraid of  _this._  Whatever it is."

The muscles flexed under her palms. "Mmm… Ric…" Tear took a step back instinctively. "What?"

"I…" Her hands came up and rested on Natalia's shoulders. "This is- I don't- we're moving too fast, Natalia. And you don't know what you're doing."

"Of course I do." Her hands grasped Tear's lapels and pulled her in close, forearms firmly planted between their bodies as she stared up boldly into her eyes. "Kiss me."

"What?!"

Her lips came closer, but stopped an inch away again. "It has to be you this time. You who claims me."

"You're such a…" A what? Tear didn't know what she had wanted to call her. A tease? Something worse? Either way, it faded from the forefront of her mind…

Their lips slid over each other eagerly as Tear's hands clenched harder against Natalia's soft shoulders, holding on for dear life as if giving into temptation would set her adrift in the miasma. There was no second of hesitation, no reticence from the Kimlascan royalty as they tangled their mouths and brought their bodies flush. The padding of the Asch costume kept it from being sorely obvious that she had a feminine form, but somehow didn't keep her from feeling the other one pressing in so close. Natalia was sweet, and warm, and perfect in her arms. This was everything she had wished for in the secret corners of her heart without daring admit she wished for it.

But with a  _woman?!_  Tear had never once considered that. Yet here they were, hands sliding into each other's hair. She knew she couldn't allow that; she broke the kiss and grasped Natalia's forearms to keep her from dislodging the wig.

"O-oh!" she breathed in slight surprise. "Ric…"

"Sorry," she told her in a gentle whisper, full of heat. "I… need you not to do that."

Her head dipped in silent apology. "Alright. Then… what about…"

When Tear saw her hands fall to her waistline, begin to hitch the silk upward, she yelped in surprise and covered her face. "Please! You are royalty, and I'm… you don't have to do that!"

"Alright," she breathed with a very quiet chuckle. She was  _laughing_  at her! "Too much, too soon. How about…"

Hands slid around her waist, and Tear mirrored the gesture as they kissed again. It felt so natural, so effortless now. This time, she was pushing her hands into Natalia's back through the nightgown on purpose, teasing flesh that she had nearly seen moments ago. Her stomach was twisting itself into knots. Lips fell to her neck and suckled hard, and she had to fight down a moan and turn it into a sigh. Every time they connected, it got easier and easier, and she knew that if she didn't break away right then she might always want more. And she couldn't even do that, knowing how important it was!

Before she could blink, they were sinking down into Natalia's bed, with Tear on top of the bold princess and gazing down at the way her shoulder-length hair fanned out around her comely features. Tear wished she didn't see that. She wished she didn't notice the bumps standing out in stark contrast against the chest of her nightgown. That she didn't  _feel_  something when seeing them.

"I've never…" Natalia wasn't unaffected; she was also surprised, swallowing hard when she realised how they were positioned, eyes glistening with shame as she averted them. "Ric, I'm a v-vir… I don't know how to…"

Surprised at herself, Tear whispered, "It's alright," instead of anything that would undo the damage done. She leaned down to kiss her cheek before adding, "That isn't what I came to do. I only… wanted to make sure you were alright. And to…"

"You don't wish to be with me?" The hand at her hip began to pet up and down. "I know this isn't why you came, but if you wanted me to… open myself to you, I would. I've never felt so strongly for a man before."

That phrase alone would have been enough to shake Tear from her need-influenced stupor. But the hand drifting around her hip to slide between her thighs did the job much,  _much_  faster.

"AH!" she squeaked as she fell sideways from the bed.

"Ric!" she breathed, rolling over to reach for her. "I- what's wrong?!"

"Nothing!" she hissed. But she already knew she had erred. The squeak had not been a whisper; Natalia had to know she wasn't a man now. And she had let so much happen that she  _never_  planned on happening! There was simply no way she could maintain her disguise with a hand fishing between her legs!

But Natalia was distracted by something else. "Ric… what's wrong with your…?"

The hand was just coming close to the wig when Tear realised what she was doing. The blasted thing was loose! Moving quickly, she shot to her feet and stepped out of range, hand on the wig to keep it from falling the rest of the way off.

"I'm sorry. I must… go for tonight." Her voice was taut as she took a step backward, edging closer to the door. "I would say… that I will never come again. I should. But I… I don't think I could do that to you."

Even from that far away, the moonlight managed to outline Natalia's slender neck working to swallow her fears down so she could speak again. "Please don't. I'm n-not sure what I did wrong, but if you- if it's so bad you have to leave…"

"It's never been you. I'm just… stupid." Then she turned to push through the door, running at full speed until she regained the safety of her rooms.

This time, Natalia did follow. By the time she pushed into the room, Tear had stashed the wig in a drawer and pulled the sheets up to cover the rest of her costume. She was shaking like a leaf, but hoped Natalia wouldn't notice that part.

"Tear? Are you awake?"

"Mmm?" Her voice was pitched extra high without edging into the falsetto range, just to throw her off yet more.

"Have you heard anyone going past this door?"

"Just you," she said in the same voice.

"Oh. Well… I'm sorry. Go back to sleep."

"Mmm."

But Tear didn't go back to sleep. In fact, she had a great deal to think about now, and the thoughts would plague her well into the wee hours of the night.

_To Be Continued…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the slight cliffhanger, but it won't stay that way for long!

"Now that the repairs have been double- and triple-checked, we may as well be off this afternoon," Jade announced that morning at breakfast.

"Um…" Anise poked at her eggs with her fork. "That's great and all, but I think maybe Natalia and Tear are gonna need more time."

"And why might that be?"

"They look like death warmed over."

Anise wasn't wrong. Tear didn't even try to look at Natalia at all, because she knew they had both been unable to sleep that night. Even if Natalia wasn't fully aware of why. Her bones ached a little and her heart felt like a wrung-out sponge. Of course, that was nothing compared to how Natalia probably felt.

"It's my fault," the princess groaned, rubbing at her cheek. "I barged into Tear's room because… I thought I heard something. Probably made it hard for her to get back to sleep."

"Yes," she said, accepting the ready excuse. "But it's alright, really. I already had a lot on my mind."

Guy smiled easily, tilting his head. He may have been at the far end of the table due to his aversion to the so-called "fairer sex", but he always had a kind word for them. "Your brother?" When Tear didn't answer, he sighed, reaching the conclusion all on his own. "Man…"

"Well, it's settled," Jade announced with a clap of his hands. "If two of our number aren't feeling their best, we should take the day to rest and relax. Obviously, saving the world can take a backseat to adequate sleep."

Luke grimaced over at the taller man. "You don't have to be such a sarcastic jerk. We'll get going."

"No, I'm actually quite serious. There's a bit of further research into Fomicry I can conduct here in Keterburg. It could have waited a little longer, but with it being clear that more than one member of our team cannot perform their duties in top physical condition…"

"It might cost us our edge in battle," Guy admitted with a nod of his head. "I get you."

"And hey, maybe I can finally bust into the casino!" When the others looked down at her, Anise shrugged, her grin never leaving her tanned face. "What? It could happen!"

~ o ~

But even when she was alone, Tear couldn't be rid of the thoughts plaguing her. Napping proved impossible, sitting around the hotel room drove her stir crazy, and walking around the town just made her teeth chatter from the cold while the thoughts persisted. Finally, desperate to find a way to get out of her own head, she returned to the Megalofrederica Spa.

Even after a swim and a bath, which did help relax her body somewhat, she found herself sitting in the sauna and hating herself. Natalia had trusted her — both Tear Grants, the tactician and fellow healer, and Ric, the apparently-desirable phantom — and she had let that trust lead to something terrible. She took advantage of a friend for her own selfish desires. Of course she remembered that Natalia had been the one initiating every advance, due to desires of her own, but that was beside the point; this time, she had only made the opportunities available. Waited for Tear to pounce. The last one that made Tear panic had been all Natalia's doing, but she was only taking the next natural step for the two of them.

Except it  _wasn't_  natural. Some schools of thought in Auldrant did acknowledge same-sex relationships, some didn't. Tear had never cared one way or the other. Now, she was  _forced_  to care. Could she ever be in love with a woman? Maybe. But it didn't matter. Natalia was not; she thought she was in love with some costume-wearing rogue, not an idiot who couldn't even manage to confess her previous sins.

Mid-thought, the door creaked open. Without even opening her eyes, she croaked, "Five more minutes."

"Wow. Who died and made you queen of the spa?"

It was Anise. That was just about the only thing that would make this worse. Throwing one arm over her eyes to shade them from the light from the door, she grumbled, "What do you want? I'm just not feeling up to being chatty right now."

"I want to get all steamed up! Seriously, what else would someone want when entering this room?" Shaking her head, she hopped up onto the opposite bench. "Geeze…"

"Fine."

A long silence passed. At first, she was pleasantly surprised; Anise was being silent for once! A quick peek showed that the girl was glancing at her, caramel-hued calves bouncing as she idly swung her feet above the tile floor. Maybe they would simply enjoy a nice, relaxing-

"Tear?"

Never mind. "What?"

"Did you and Natalia have a fight?"

"What?" she asked again, much less deadpan than the time before. "Why? I mean, why do you ask that?"

"You're both acting weird. And you barely looked at each other during breakfast. I might not be Jade, but I'm not dumb."

With a rueful smile, she muttered, "Sharper than those blunt-instrument boys, yeah." But when Anise only kept looking at her expectantly, she finally provided, "I'm not angry at her. Just… worried."

"We're all worried, but you look  _extra_  worried."

"I'm worried about her and Asch. I think she's going to get hurt if she holds onto him too tightly." At least that part was the truth; she could  _never_  tell Anise the rest.

"I'd like to hold onto him too tightly," she said with a lewd little smile. Tear rolled her eyes. That was about the level of response she expected from the boy-crazy teen. What she didn't expect was the follow-up: "But… I know what you mean. Nat keeps throwing her heart at him and he's not playing catch. It's kind of depressing."

After a moment spent blinking at her in sheer shock, she nodded her agreement. "Exactly. But how can I help her if I don't understand anything about this kind of thing myself?"

"Hmm. You got me. As long as I marry Luke or Asch, she can have the other one. Or maybe Emperor Peony. Or Jade, if he stops being intolerable. But yeah, nice that you're  _trying_  to help, anyway. I hope you think of something."

"Mm. I'll try."

"But I don't believe you."

"What?"

"I don't believe that you don't understand 'this kind of thing'," Anise needled, leaning over on both her hands and smirking up at Tear, crossing her legs in the opposite direction.

"Uhhh… what are you doing?"

"Where'd you get the love bite, hmmmm?"

That earned her a glare. "Anise, I don't have time for your games. What do you mean?"

"Right there." One hand drifted up, and at first, Tear felt certain the girl was going to grope her or something horribly offensive. But instead, all she did was poke the side of her neck.

"What? There's something on my neck?"

Anise grinned as her arm lowered again. "Yeah. A big ol' strawberry. So either you ran into a door at a weird angle, or a certain fon Fabre has been sneaking into your bedroom at night."

"I don't…"

It came to her in a flash. Natalia had kissed her there. One of those kisses had been more  _eager_  than the others. In their haste to explore and discover as much about each other as they might in that stolen moment, they had been careless.

"Fine, fine," Anise sighed, sitting back and readjusting the towel around her. "Keep your dumb secret. Even though I bet it's a really good one."

"Sorry," she told her in a quiet voice, knowing that anywhere other than that sauna, her blush would have been obvious. Anise wasn't wrong; the secret was extremely juicy. What was she going to do?

~ o ~

Natalia was dining with Luke in the cafeteria when Tear entered. For an instant, she considered trying to back out slowly so as not to attract either of their attention. She didn't consider it fast enough.

"Tear!" Luke called out, waving her over. Natalia turned and smiled when she saw her there.

"Hello," she said shortly as she arrived at the corner of the table.

"Pull up a chair!"

"I don't have any food yet. I'll join you in a moment."

"The waitresses come to you, remember?" Natalia said with a warm smile, toasting her with her teacup. She still appreciated her help the day before, obviously. As she sat on the side of the table between them, she reached over and patted her gloved hand briefly. "Good. How was your spa visit?"

"Enlightening." Instead of elaborating further, she said, "How have your days been?"

Luke shrugged, hands angled back behind his head and elbows pointing at the ceiling. "Boring. And Natalia won't stop giggling to herself at random moments. It's weird."

"H-hey!" she protested, glancing at Tear and then back to Luke. "You didn't say anything about it before, so how was I supposed to know?"

He was just opening his mouth to retort when there was a crash from behind them. Tear twisted around in her chair, craning to see what the commotion was about. The blue-haired waitress, one she had briefly considered a fellow employee when she tried the job on for size, had dropped a bowl, shattering the contents everywhere. She looked thoroughly disgusted with herself and hurriedly cleaned it up.

"Wow, some people are just clumsy," Luke commented.

"It's regrettable." As she settled back in to wait to be served, she noticed Natalia was gaping at her. "What?"

"Oh. I… n-nothing." Her eyes turned down to stare into her tea.

But it wasn't nothing. Natalia was almost entirely mute throughout the rest of their meal together. Every time she or Luke attempted to engage her in conversation, she would murmur some brief response, then lapse into silence again. What was the matter with her?

~ o ~

Asch. That had to be it; or "Ric", currently. That was the only conclusion that Tear could reach after hours and hours of contemplation. By nightfall, she knew that she had taken things so far with their strange dance that it had upset Natalia too much to reply. Maybe she had been putting on a brave face before, but apparently something about the sound of the bowl breaking had snapped her out of her pretense and back to reality. And the whole situation was her fault and hers alone.

So she donned her Asch costume and approached Natalia's door once again. This would  _have_  to be the last time. As much as a guilty little corner of her mind wanted to keep coming back for more, they couldn't; it wasn't wise, and wasn't fair to the princess.

"Come in," Natalia called out when she knocked, and she obeyed. There stood the regal form of the Kimlascan heiress, the floor-length gown from the first night enshrouding her in the low light. Her smile was guarded. "Hello, Ric."

"Princess." She pressed a hand to her chest and bowed slightly, then straightened to whisper, "I know you won't want to hear this, but I think we need to have another talk."

"I agree. But first… I just want to kiss you again. And I promise, I won't… won't um…"

Her hand gestured behind her to the bed. Tear dipped her head. "Thank you. I was not… I'm still not sure how I feel about that. Thank you for understanding."

"Of course." As Tear put her hands on Natalia's hips, she perched hers on Tear's shoulders in kind. Their mouths drifted closer, and again Natalia didn't bridge the gap. "You first."

"Your turn."

Her eyes crinkled with a smile, but it was sad, strained. "Are we taking turns? I didn't realise."

"I just…" Her stomach twisted into knots. "You still don't know who I am. It doesn't seem fair for me to kiss you purely because I want to, and to keep you in the dark at the same time."

"Ah. About that…"

But Natalia didn't finish her thought. Instead, she wrestled with something within her heart for a moment before she gave up and kissed Tear, a kiss full of measured action and chaste warmth. Gone was the reckless abandon of the last embraces, and Tear wasn't sure what to make of the change, so she simply stood there and held Natalia, allowing her to do as she pleased. The hands trailed higher to grip her collar and pull her a little closer…

Then pulled out and to the sides. Tear wasn't sure what to make of that, but the kiss ended and Natalia looked down at the collar, stared for a long, excruciating moment, and then looked away. Was she inspecting the uniform?

"Princess?"

"I told you… to call me 'Natalia'." After a few seconds spent rubbing the collar with her thumbs, she jerked backward out of reach, folding her hands in front of herself. She was visibly trembling. "Alright. I… I've had my kiss. What did you want to talk about?"

The actions were alarming, but she had no clear path to admonish her for them. So she cleared her throat to begin. "Natalia, I… I think we must cease these meetings. As I've tried to explain, you can't know who I am, and I can't move forward without telling you. A-and I know you would hate any other outcome, even if you don't think you would. So… so I can't see you anymore. I'm sorry."

"Oh." Her shoulders shrugged. "And… I guess I can't stop you, can I? Not when I don't know who you are."

"No."

"I see."

Heart breaking at the hollow expression on Natalia's face, she flexed her own fists uselessly at her sides. "But I really am sorry. If you think I do this frivolously, just to hurt you or… or because I'm afraid, you're wrong. There are reasons we could never- well… oh, someone else will come along and find you! And they will know exactly how special you are, a-and… and please, don't think-"

"You're really going to stop coming, aren't you? Because you're worried about…" A hesitation. Her voice was very careful not to betray any one emotion. "What people will think? Is that it?"

"What  _you_  will think. And other people, but only because it would impact you. Not because I care about them."

Her head nodded in acceptance of that. "Alright. I'm sorry to have put you in such a position as to have to… to worry about all of these things."

"Oh. Well… yes, but that's not what matters to me."

"You said it was my feelings. That I wouldn't feel the same way about you in the light of day." She bit her lip. "Maybe you're right. I can't know how I would react without trying it out. But… I'm sorry if it hurts you knowing this. I really am."

Something was wrong. Even more wrong than usual, it seemed to Tear. But she couldn't quite figure out why Natalia seemed so…  _dead._  As if she were a ghost of her former self, haunting the hotel room for all eternity. It was almost worse than if she were outright sad, or angry. Now they were  _both_  shadows.

"Go. But know that I truly cherished our nights."

Tear took a step forward. "Princess-"

"Go." But she didn't; not right away. "Do you… not want to go?"

"I don't. But I need to."

"How did you feel about me? Before this."

Her shoulders sagged. "What does it matter?"

"I'll tell you how I felt. I thought… I could see a future with someone so sweet, and compassionate, and strong but not in the way my birth father is 'strong'. Someone who's always put my needs before their own, and proven that, even in- in only a couple of days."

"What are you…" But she shook her head. "No. You don't have to say this."

"I want to. I want you to know how I felt. Even if you never return to my room." Her hands drifted up, hesitated, then rested on Tear's shoulders. "Take me away with you."

"What?!"

"Let's go, right now! Or at least… if you  _could_ , would you take me somewhere no one would bother us? No one would… judge us in the way you seem to think we would be? Think about that. Would you want that with me? Or are my feelings only one-sided?"

Eyes welling up, Tear grasped Natalia's waist firmly. "I would! This isn't something I ever considered, it's intimidating, and- and irrational. But you deserve anything you could ever want. And I…"

Seconds passed. Natalia whispered, "You can't say that you want to be with me."

"No. But it's because I have no idea what I want. This is a part of the human condition that I've never understood."

"But if I wanted to be with you, that would be enough? You at least don't hate me?"

" _Hate_  you?! How could anyone? I… I think you're incredible. And beautiful, and… well, you've heard me go on about you before. But if I wasn't worried about how things would turn out for you, and I didn't have duties of my own, then… then perhaps…" Her throat worked to swallow so she could get the words out. "I  _could_  see a future beside you, Natalia. Even if I can't right now, and I don't know if it's what I want… I could."

Her smile finally returned, subdued though it was. "That's all I needed. Now kiss me goodbye, if it must be our last kiss."

This time, their lips met on a more mutual plane. Hesitant, sorrowful, but grateful that they were allowed to meet. Natalia's head slid to one side, opening herself to more, and Tear took the invitation, running the tip of her tongue along her bottom lip. It was difficult, and strained, but somehow that made it all the sweeter. The raw honesty of this kiss.

Finally, it was Natalia who stepped back this time. She cleared her throat and whispered, "I won't keep you. Both of us have probably been losing sleep, meeting like this."

"Yes. But I have no regrets. Other than…" Her hand came up to cup Natalia's cheek. "Other than not being what you need."

"You are," she urged her, resting her hand atop the gloved one. "Even if I don't understand why, and how, and… oh, I wish you could stay…" She pulled away, chest rising and falling rapidly. "No, I- no. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel guilty, or anything. Just to know I won't forget you, and I'm not angry or disappointed. I'll do my best to understand."

"As will I. Because… I  _don't_  understand, but I want to stay, too. You'll never know how much."

"Maybe not, but I think I understand a little." They shared a sad little smile. "We can't always have-"

Tear held up a gloved hand. There was a little noise coming from out in the hall. She tiptoed a little closer to the door, listening hard.

"What is it?" Natalia whispered from right behind her.

"Shh!"

She listened harder… and realised it was song, coming down the hallway. As it approached, she listened to the drunken strains, and cringed when she recognised the two voices — ones she knew all too well.

"The bawdy old biddy from Belkend!" warbled Guy and Luke in something close to a steady key without quite managing to clap onto it consistently. "She had the most healthiest backend! She danced to a tune, from morning 'til noon, and the sight of it bouncing's a godsend!"

As they laughed all the way down the hall, apparently proud of themselves, Natalia hissed, "Those two! Can't they even  _pretend_  to be gentlemen?!"

"It's disgusting," Tear agreed, shaking her head. "It doesn't surprise me coming from Luke, but  _Guy?!"_

"They're getting a piece of my mind in the morning! Tear, you'll back me up, won't you?"

"Of course. Everyone in the hotel probably heard them carrying on in such an inappropriate fashion! And the song had terrible grammar!"

"Those idiots. I don't know where they pick up such filth!" Sighing, she stood again, and Tear followed immediately after. "Now then… where were we?"

A little dazed by the distraction, she snapped back to herself. "Right. I was about to go, but I'm glad I heard them or I would have probably knocked them over on my way back… to…"

The two women froze. It seemed the moment had caught up to both of them in the same instant. A bird distantly called as it winged its way through the snowy foothills nearby.

"What… did you call me?"

"Hmm?" Shrugging, the princess said, "What do you mean?"

"A moment ago. You called me something else."

"Did I? Sorry. Wasn't thinking straight."

But Tear definitely wasn't satisfied with that. Taking a step closer, she demanded, "You used a very specific name."

"Sorry!" she insisted, backing up a little more until she was pressing back against the chest of drawers, eyes wide with horror.

"Why  _that_  name?" No response. "Natalia!"

She only stood that way for a moment, chest heaving, before she lowered her eyes, unable to meet Tear's anymore. They stayed like that for an eternity.

"Just go, Ric. I… I want to remember these nights the way they were. Preserve them in my heart. If you go right now, we can. It'll remain something v-very special that we'll… that we can always…"

They were both trembling by now. Very slowly, Tear turned to gaze at the moonlight filtering in through the curtains, her steps taking her only a few inches toward it before she stopped dead again.

"How long?"

It took a moment for Natalia to answer. "Since this afternoon."

"How… I mean, what did I…" Clearing her throat, she tried again. Her voice was still the same raspy whisper, even though she had a feeling she wouldn't be needing to do that anymore. "What gave me away?"

"You didn't. It was me. I wasn't…" Her voice sounded close to tears. "I didn't do it on purpose!"

"What?"

"Mark you. I just got excited, and…"

In a flash, the memory of Anise touching her neck came back to Tear, and she knew exactly what happened. Her hand drifted up to press into the area in question. "In the café. When I turned around… you saw it."

"Yes. And no matter how much I tried to tell myself… th-that two people could have hickeys in the exact same place… everything just…  _fit_  too well for me to lie to myself."

"Oh."

"Tear? I, um… I'm sorry. I was hoping you wouldn't figure out that I knew, and we could just close this chapter, and…" Tear turned to face her more directly in time to notice her bottom lip quiver. "And neither of us would be in pain. Well, not  _too_  much."

"It's me who should be apologising. Natalia, I… you remember, right? When I first came, I didn't mean to- I wasn't trying to lead you on, or ever-"

"I know," she assured her quickly, to cut off the painful confession. "This was all my fault. You were dressed as Asch, I p-put all of my pent up feelings for him and for Luke into you, I… I probably made you so disgusted! Throwing my body at you, a  _woman's_  body, and you were only t-trying to make me feel better!"

One of her shoulders shrugged. Finally, she dropped the whisper; the moment her normal voice sounded into the room, Natalia flinched. "Please don't hate me, alright? F-for… for making you… kiss me, when I wasn't the one you wanted to kiss. I really do care about you!"

"Oh," she scoffed, waving a hand back and forth as if these were trivial matters even though she was shaking like a leaf. "Honestly, it wasn't as bad as you're saying it was. You're a great kisser."

"What?! I mean… I am?"

"You really lit me on fire with those lips of yours," she confessed. Even in the pale blue lighting, Tear could see rouge rising in her cheeks. "Sorry if that sounds strange to admit now, but it felt  _so natural_  with you! And I knew something wasn't quite right, that you were too gentle and soft, but I was enjoying it so much that I tried to just… ignore that little warning bell."

A harsh little blast of amusement made its way out of her throat. "Wow. Meanwhile, I was mostly scared that I wasn't going to be able to stop. I'm just… no, nevermind."

"Go on. I mean, after what we've been through, I don't think it will matter if we talk about it."

"Well… I was going to say that I'm lonely. That sounds ungrateful, since I love having you all as friends, but I don't have anyone like…  _family_  anymore. No boyfriend or mother or father to hold me and tell me that I'll be alright. Being with you these past two nights is the closest I've felt to that in years."

Natalia took that in, staring out the window herself the way Tear had been. Then she whispered, "It's really too bad."

"What is?"

"That we're both women, and we like men. Because… I don't know… I think we had really good chemistry."

"Yeah," she admitted with a sigh. "Great chemistry. I didn't want to admit it because I was so worried about what you would think if you ever found out who I was, though. And all I ever wanted was to give  _you_  what you wanted!"

Smiling a little, she said, "You did? Well… I mean, I know you did, from what you said. But I guess that was one of the few things I've wondered about since I realised Ric was Mystea-RIC-a."

"I'm so stupid," she sighed, embarrassed beyond belief.

"Not stupid. But I did at least figure out why my advances made you panic; I was crossing a line that two women don't usually cross. A line teammates shouldn't cross, either. Even if you were the only one who knew. You tried your best to push me away, and I didn't let you do it. That's my fault."

Her eyes stayed squeezed shut. "Not  _entirely_  your fault. But I couldn't help that… that you… felt so good, I didn't  _want_  you to stop."

When she opened her eyes again, she saw that Natalia was no longer smiling. Delicate fingertips reached up to settle on her shoulder. "I know. No matter what logic I try to apply… it can't erase the memory of your lips on mine."

"Natalia…"

"Why didn't you ask me to stop sooner? If you don't want to be with a woman, all you had to do was say so."

"Because I would have sounded like… I was claiming Asch liked men." They both smiled in subdued amusement. "I was trying so hard not to say things that would slander him, even while making you feel less worthless. But seriously, he deserves a kick in the balls."

Startled by the off-colour comment, Natalia giggled nervously. "Oh! W-well, I… guess he does." They both shared a smile. "You really care about me, don't you?"

"Of course. I have ever since we first met; I admired your bravery for coming along, even if you were so ill-suited to the challenges we would face. But you eventually proved your worth, on top of your courage. I think you're incredible, Natalia."

Cheeks freshly flushed, she whispered, "I think you're incredible, too, Tear Grants. A skilled tactician and a true hero. But I didn't realise you thought much of me before these past few nights. Or until today, I guess."

"It's alright. We both underestimated each other a little, I think."

"Tear?"

"Yes?"

The fingertips moved up to alight on her jaw. Even the thread of their conversation thus far could not have prepared Tear for the words Natalia was about to speak.

"What if we  _erased_  those lines between us?"

_To Be Concluded…_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter is nsfw due to sensuality.
> 
> NOTE: I hope everyone enjoyed this thing. If you aren't a Tales fan and you read it anyway, an extra little thanks to you! Happy Yule/Hanukkah!
> 
>  
> 
> _Jessex_

It took Tear fully five seconds to form a response to that proposal. The first two were spent trying to figure out what she meant, and the next two on trying to gauge whether or not Natalia could  _possibly_  be serious. The final second was used to find her voice again.

"Erased- are you- do you mean that we should really-?"

"Shhh," Natalia bade her, free hand alighting on Tear's lips. "It's just an idea. You can tell me I'm disgusting and leave right now. Believe me, I definitely understand why it would not appeal to you!"

After a few more seconds ticked by, she managed to whisper, "Natalia, we're both women. I don't… I mean, it's not  _completely_  unheard of, but you- you wanted to pursue Luke! Or Asch! So why… would you settle for me?"

"'Settle'? Oh, Tear…" Her eyes were sad as the fingertips moved to cup her cheek. "You're not a consolation prize. You're a wonderful person! I just… well, I'll admit I'm not really sure how we would- there's a LOT that's confusing about- well, anyway, I think… if you wanted to try…"

They were both afraid of what it might mean should they move beyond friendship. Even if they had already tested those waters, it was under somewhat false pretenses. This would be openly acknowledging that, despite it not being criminally penalised anywhere in Auldrant, the behaviour was at least deviant. But there was one thing Tear needed to do before she could do anything more.

"What?" Natalia asked when she reached up. "What are you-"

"Testing you," she breathed, pulling out the pins holding the wig to her scalp. Once it was resting on the chest of drawers, she fluffed out her real hair before her hands fell to the buttons at the collar of Asch's uniform. "Or, well… both of us. Not just you."

Natalia took a step away, watching as Tear stripped off the cape, the ornamental tunic and the armour underneath. Once that was gone, her own form was revealed, wearing a simple grey shirt to protect her skin from the cold metal. She kept going, removing the gloves and boots to leave behind maroon leggings that complemented her shirt.

"A-are you through?" Natalia asked nervously. "Because if you keep going, I m-may have to avert my eyes. It's indecent."

"All of this is indecent. But… yes, I'm through."

"Oh. So… what's the test, exactly?"

Tear stepped closer, until they were inches apart. Now that the boots were off, she stood very nominally shorter than Natalia; it felt a lot more significant given that she was very nominally taller than her while in costume, enjoying the typical "male" height advantage.

"Can you accept me like this?" she whispered, gazing up into her green irises. "Even just for a night, or for longer, or… or at all. I'm a woman, Natalia."

"You really are," she remarked softly, staring down between them at their chests. "Much more of one than I am."

Tear dipped her head self-consciously, cheeks instantly warmer. Comments about her large breasts always caught her off-guard that way. "N-not what I meant."

"Plus I'm taller. Should I be the one wearing the costume?" Tear's embarrassed little smile made her laugh, even as she rested her hands on Tear's gently-flaring hips. "That's better. And… though I'm pretending I don't know what you mean, I do."

"Really? So… so what… I mean, how do-"

"I don't know. But I'm really starting to feel okay with finding out firsthand."

Her cheeks pink and her eyes wide, Tear whispered, "You… really  _should_  be wearing the costume. It's traditionally the man's role to be the decisive one. To… approach the lady, and begin the… the…"

The bemused grin preceded Natalia whispering, "You're so cute."

"M-me? Cute?" Tear loved cute things, but never had considered she might be one of them.

"Of course! But I've thought that before. I just didn't have a personal investment in whether or not you're cute until tonight."

"Really?"

The hand returned to her cheek, and this time she leaned into it, feeling helpless and lost and grateful for the comfort. It took Natalia a moment to answer. "Oh… this is so… it's so  _different_  than I expected, but I think… I don't mind. You're sweeter than honey."

Every word was making Tear's pulse pound harder behind her ears, her breath come in shallow gasps and tingles to shoot through the backs of her knees. Somehow, even though Natalia had never been someone she considered from a romantic standpoint before the past days, she had come to outshine any man who had ever caught her eye. It felt  _safer_  with her. It felt  _right._

"Tear?"

"Yes?"

Instead of a question, Natalia's lips formed a seal on Tear's, gently plying at them. Much more careful and exploratory than before, she pulled her face closer, delighting in the contact. Tear delighted with her. Every kiss before this had been a rehearsal for this one true performance. Now that Tear wasn't afraid, wasn't trying to be someone she wasn't, she could give herself over to it entirely without fear of recriminations or rejection.

As she had barely dared hope, Natalia took  _care_  of her this time. Before, she had thought she was kissing a strong man who needed no such considerations; now, she cradled Tear close as if she were spun glass. It would have angered her if not for the contrast from the last time. She didn't  _want_  to be treated like a man. She wanted to be loved for who she was, and cherished.

When they parted, she discovered that her back was draped over Natalia's forearms, head tilted back to gaze toward the ceiling. Natalia was bent over her and blinking down into her eyes. When had she been dipped so elegantly? The memory literally escaped her.

"You're  _really_  a woman!" she burst out, making Tear smile again. As she gently pulled her back to standing, her hand found the nape of Tear's neck. "Goodness…"

"And you're really- well, n-not a man! But… you know exactly what to… what I mean is, how do you know how to treat a woman like a lady this well?"

At that, Natalia grinned. "Finishing school. I mean, we were taught what to expect from a gentleman caller, to better prepare us for how we should respond. So I mean… well, I never expected that I'd  _need_  to, but I remember both sides of the lessons."

"Oh."

The anxiety in her voice shone through clearly. "So… I'm doing alright?"

"You're doing wonderful." Her hand came up to brush over Natalia's jawline. "But you don't have to be my 'gentleman caller'. We can just be who we already are."

"I am. The steps are helping me figure out how to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, that's all; it's still me."

"Still you…" Her hand passed over Natalia's shoulder, rustling her sleeve. Then she chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing. Well…" She could tell Natalia wanted an answer, so she embarrassed herself further by admitting her train of thought. "The nightie you wore  _last_  night. Where did you find that?"

Cheeks flushing a deeper shade, the princess admitted, "Here in town. I've never owned anything like that before — please believe me!"

"I do, I do. But it was very…"

"Yes, it was. Do… I mean, did you… like it?"

"To borrow or to watch you in it?"

"Either one, I guess. This is so confusing!" As they both giggled, Natalia shrugged. "If you want me to wear it, I could… change."

Tear felt panic trying to rise in her chest, but she forced it down. "S-sure. But I won't watch you change; I don't think I'm ready for… well, I'm just not ready."

So Natalia kissed Tear on the forehead, then trotted over to her luggage. Even the one tiny kiss made her giddy. Were they really doing this? Minutes ago, she had been trying to confess she could never return to her, and now they were contemplating kisses becoming part of their regular routine! The fact that most members of polite society would view it as taboo somehow did nothing to dissuade her. In fact, it only made the indiscretion all the more appealing.

"I'm ready,  _Ric_."

Rolling her eyes at the name she chose, she turned around… and tried to pretend the sight of Natalia in the sheer nightie didn't set her pulse skyrocketing. But she managed to only squeak, "Y-yes. Ric approves. Also, Ric does not wish to be called 'Ric' anymore."

"Well, 'Ric' should have thought of that before telling me I could use 'Ric'," she giggled, pacing back over and grasping Tear's hands, pulling her toward the bed. But Tear dug in her heels. "What's wrong?"

"O-oh, I- no, nothing, I'm- I didn't think we…" Swallowing hard, she glanced toward the window, then back at Natalia's curious features. "Are we… going to bed? Together?"

"I thought we could lay down together. And maybe… find out what happens when we do."

By now, Tear felt like she was boiling, and was secretly grateful she had shed the heavy armour. As she tugged at the neckline of her tunic, Natalia released her and sat down on her own instead. She crossed her legs, watching Tear's eyes follow the movements. She knew exactly how much leg she was showing off in that moment and didn't seem to mind in the slightest.

"What?" she finally prompted.

"Natalia, you… don't give yourself credit. You're every bit the woman I am, and more."

Her smile was obviously pleased. But Tear still couldn't seem to drag her eyes upward. In reality, it was because she felt too guilty to look at her torso or her face in that moment. However, Natalia seemed to misinterpret the gaze. "Tear, there is… something else I've been wondering about. And you wouldn't comment on it when I came to you the next morning."

"What?"

"This." Her leg raised and she poked her stomach with her toes, causing Tear to back up a step and clutch the prodded area. Natalia laughed, "Sorry."

"My stomach?"

"No, no! I meant… when I was crying, and you kissed my foot. I didn't know… what I mean is, I wasn't sure why you chose to do  _that_  to make me feel better."

Tear nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Sorry. I don't know, either. It just seemed… I don't know, I wanted you to know I meant it. And the words alone weren't enough."

"But you could have kissed my cheek — or pet my shoulder, or my back."

"Oh… I guess so."

"It's alright," she assured her when it became obvious Tear had no idea what to say, lying on her side on the bed comfortably. That position did set her at ease, even if she couldn't bring herself to join her. "I just wondered if that was some kind of Malkuthian ritual I didn't know about that Asch had picked up in his travels."

"Really?" Tear asked, surprised. "That's funny, because… I was worried it was a Kimlascan thing!"

"What? But you're the one that did it!"

Laughing now, she held her arms behind her back shyly. "Yes, but… you made such a big deal out of it and I didn't know why, so I was worried I had accidentally asked for your hand in marriage. Or your foot, I guess." They both chuckled a little. "But y-you're right, it was a strange choice."

"I see. Well, it doesn't matter; you don't have to degrade yourself like that again just to make me feel better."

"Degrade myself? Oh, don't exaggerate; it was fine. And it seemed to make you feel better, so I have no regrets."

"It's not degrading to literally fall at my feet?"

"Not when they're the perfect feet of a princess, no." The instant she had said it, she slapped a hand over her mouth. "O-oh, I… that wasn't supposed to sound so…"

But Natalia was equally embarrassed. "What do you mean, perfect? I mean… my feet are just feet."

"They are perfect. I mean, all of you is." But Natalia seemed to be waiting for more, so she sank to her knees beside the bed and poked one of Natalia's ankles. "You have the cutest toes."

"Oh… well, I guess that makes more sense now. You're such a fan of cute things." Tear bent down, and Natalia began to ask, "What are you d-"

But the kiss against her toes came before she could finish the question, cutting off her words. Not that Tear didn't already feel completely foolish for doing it, but it was important that Natalia know she was serious. More kisses followed, Tear hoping to show her so much affection that she would never question it again. When she felt toes twitch under her lips, she pulled away, turning to see her reaction.

Natalia was definitely a blushing mess. But she was also smiling. "Wow. Tear Grants, you are… smoother than you give yourself credit for."

"What?! I'm… I'm smooth?"

"Definitely. My cute toes agree with me. You made us feel very cherished just now." When Tear only bit her lip, uncertain about what she should do next, Natalia's smile widened and she reached out a hand. "Come up here with me. Come on."

So Tear climbed onto the bed next to her. At first, she was straddling her hips, but they both seemed to realise that was unseemly and shifted a moment later so they were lying on their sides, gazing into each other's eyes. One of Tear's hands came up to comb gently through Natalia's soft hair, earning her a hum from deep in the princess's throat.

"This is crazy," Tear whispered as she felt two knees wrap around one of her own. "Are we really…?"

One of Natalia's shoulders rose up toward her rosy cheek. "I guess we are. But… it's alright, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I think it is. Does… that make us…?"

"I don't know what it makes us. Maybe nothing. Maybe… everything."

Their lips met again, and this time Tear was able to give her the level of desire she gave her before she had been revealed. Natalia shocked her even more by responding — not only with gratitude, but with an incredible level of sheer willpower. This was  _important_  to her now. To both of them, but Natalia seemed to be trying even harder to prove something to her.

Before she knew it, she felt their hips shifting. A thigh was pressing between her own, and she knew one of hers was between Natalia's. Could  _feel_  the heat seeping through layers of fabric. This was far beyond anything she had imagined ever doing  _at all_ , much less with a woman! The few times she had dared imagine something remotely close, it was Luke — not that she would have ever admitted it to him, or anyone else.

And then there was Natalia Luzu Kimlasca-Lanvaldear. How could a  _princess_  be the tiniest bit interested in some Order of Lorelei reject? She could have princes and kings falling into her lap, and there she was, welcoming her into her bed. And it was all happening so fast! It made her own daydreams seem pathetic.

"O-oh," Natalia finally gasped as they broke apart, panting for breath. "Do you… feel that? Is it just me?"

"Not just you," Tear assured her, petting over her cheek and neck. "Are we… i-is this-"

"Is it?"

Licking her lips, she whispered frantically, "But we're women, what will we…?"

"Well… this seems to be working so far." Natalia gave a few more firm thrusts against the thigh clamped between both of her own, and her luxurious eyelashes fluttered. "O-ohhh… oh, Tear…"

Maybe that was enough. It was not, according to everything she had learned about the birds and the bees in school. But Natalia certainly didn't seem to need anything more. So she began to thrust in tandem, moaning into the pillow at the sensations assaulting her. Even through her leggings, it was overwhelming! As they grew accustomed to the actions, to the results of them, they began to move faster, more roughly.

"Natalia," she panted some minutes later, kissing down her jawline to her neck.

"Oh!" she gasped out, arching her back when she felt teeth raking along it. "Nnhh, oh that's so good…"

"Mmhh… yes!"

One hand drifted up from her back to pet up and down her chest. The sensation made Tear flinch out of instinct, but then the fear gave way to pleasure once she got past the initial reticence. That  _definitely_  added something to their encounter.

"You like that?" When she could only nod weakly, Natalia squeezed one of her breasts and prompted a long moan. "You do…"

After another few squeezes and further grinding of their hips, Tear managed to whimper, "How are you… doing this to me? Are you even… real?"

"I could ask you the same thing! This morning, I thought… some mysterious stranger was falling for me…" Her lips pushed up and into her neck. "But instead, it turned out to be my best friend."

"I'm your best… best friend?"

Letting out a breathy chuckle, she demanded, "Who else could it be? Anise?!"

"Stop," she laughed, and the laugh turned into a long moan at a particularly firm grope. "O-ooh… m-my…"

They both fell silent for a few minutes — that is to say, in terms of words. In terms of  _sounds,_  the room was filled with grunts and sighs, the occasional half-scream. And their hips were shifting faster than ever before, causing the rustling of fabric to nearly overpower their other noises.

"Can I… take these off?" Natalia finally asked, her hand falling down to tug at Tear's waistband. When Tear nodded, they both shucked the leggings so fast that she felt nails raking down her calf, and honestly couldn't tell which of them was the culprit. Then they resumed, both sets of legs nude as they entwined.

"OH!"

Nodding into Tear's shoulder, she whispered, "Yeah! It's so much more! I can feel… feel how wet you are…"

Completely mortified, Tear pushed her face into Natalia's hair to hide. The sounds her body was making were so undignified! But gentle hands on her back and combing through her hair soothed her until she felt less ashamed of how eager her body was for Natalia to sate its needs. It also helped that she could feel much the same through the princess's undergarment, but she didn't dare mention that. No matter how heated their dance had become.

"Natalia!" she finally panted some minutes later. "Something's… I d-don't know, I'm… nhh!"

After a few more thrusts, she seemed to focus on Tear's outcry. "Are you close?"

"Close to… what?"

"Oh honey…" Her hands moved up to rest gently against Tear's collarbone. "It's your first? Well… I can help you with that. Here, let's set the scene properly…" Gentle hands removed her grey tunic, as well, leaving her entirely bare. Though her hands fell to hide her body, Natalia gently held her arms away.

"N-no…"

"Yes, Tear. You're so beautiful! You don't have anything to be ashamed of."

Her eyes watered as she gazed up into the green ones, saw Natalia's pink lips pull into a smile. Her heart was already trying to thrash its way out of her chest, but now she felt a twisting in her stomach along for the ride. Her lungs burned as she tried to think of what to say.

"So are you. B-beautiful." It was woefully inadequate, but she had to try.

"Thank you," she said with a lilting titter. "Now… come for me."

"What?" But Natalia began to grind her leg into her wetness again with twice the vigor from before, and she lost all power of speech. "A-AH!"

That was the last thing she could say that resembled a word for many minutes. Natalia's skill was unimpeachable as she assaulted her body with more glorious sensations than she ever thought possible. The pleasure built and increased until she felt that  _something_  approaching once more, but this time when her cries got louder, Natalia only sped up instead of slowing down to wait.

"Come for me!" she whispered heatedly into her sweat-dampened brunette locks.

"Natalia! Yes! I… I…!"

And she did. The squeal that ripped its way out of her throat when she reached her first orgasm was high and piercing, but she couldn't even care.  _That_  was what Natalia was trying to do: bring her fully into the sorority of womanhood. And in the arms of a princess.

"Almost!" Natalia started panting, even before Tear's aftershocks faded. "I'm… alm- I'm almost- almost there!"

So now it was her turn. Tear began to rake her hands up and down Natalia's back, hoping it would do something to spur her on. The sounds seemed to suggest it was working. Her teeth again fell to her neck, raking down to collarbone before she let her tongue slip out to trail its way back upward. One hand came to perch on Natalia's backside, gripping hard.

"OH! Ooh, I- I don't know how I feel about that!"

"I'm sorry!" Tear breathed fearfully, jerking the hand away.

"No, it's… I might have liked it, but I can't… it's so much!"

Tear sensed that she needed very slightly more. Running her hands up and down again, she then snatched up the hem of her nightie and began pulling it up and off. Natalia cooperated, allowing her body to be exposed much more readily than Tear had.

And there were the pert peaks she had glimpsed poking at her through the nightgown. They were small and pink, and to her way of thinking, much cuter than her own larger, darker nipples. Once they returned to their frenzied pace, she watched in awe as they bounced up and down - or rather, from side to side - thinking that her own had been doing the same and wondering if Natalia was watching them.

She was. When she saw the green eyes pointed that way, she smiled slightly and whispered, "You… like these?"

"Huh? O-oh, I… yeah…" Her face was already too flushed and sweat-coated for this to make any difference, but the way she ducked her head still portrayed her shame clearly enough. "Always was a little… jealous of your body… but now it's…"

Jealous? There was no call for that. So as they writhed, Tear pulled Natalia's face down to nestle between her breasts.

"Wait! What are… mmhh…" It took very little time for her to relax, nuzzling the valley between Tear's ample mounds. And not long after that for her open and panting mouth to leave wet kisses all over its skin. The actions threatened to get Tear going again, but she forced herself to focus on bringing her friend as much pleasure as she possibly could.

It didn't take long after that. Another minute or so of writhing, and Natalia was hissing, "I'm gonna come! I… I want to, I want to do this with you!"

"Yes…" One of her hands wound into Natalia's short hair and gripped, and the princess seemed to melt for a moment. "Is this alright? Are  _you_  alright?"

"Yes! It feels so incredible!"

"Mmmmhhh… then come for me, Natalia!" Swallowing her shyness, her uncertainty that anything she was doing could backfire on her, she added, "I want… I want to hear you moan my name!"

That had the desired effect. As her hips rolled faster than ever, she panted, "TEAR! Yes, Tear,  _yes! NNHAAAHHH!"_

Tear held her body close, clutching at her back as she rode out the waves of pleasure in her arms. It was one of the strangest things she had ever experienced, even compared with watching whole continents sink into the Qliphoth. But the princess was a vision — a goddess unmade. Sweat gleamed all over her body as she cried out, back arching and trim stomach flexing with every movement. Then, little by little, she sank down sideways into the bed.

Minutes ticked by as they regained their breath. Then Tear whispered, "Natalia… we…"

"I know," she breathed back, eyes fluttering open again. "We did."

"What does it mean? I… I've never felt anything like that… before…"

A delicate hand came up to comb through the hair that had fallen into her eyes. "Mmmhh… it means whatever we want it to mean. For now, I just… am really,  _really_  happy we did this." When Tear's face pulled into a bashful smile, she nuzzled in closer. "And for how cute you are."

"N-no I'm not," she whispered, which only made Natalia nuzzle more, and her smile widened. "You really think so? I've had so many people tell me I'm… cold. A 'bitch'."

"Well, you are, in terms of how you treat the average person. But that's not  _all_  of who you are."

"Oh," she breathed softly, smile falling. But immediately, lips were pushing into the corner of her mouth. "Wha-?"

"You're very kind, and thoughtful. You just become all-business when it's important to be all-business, and some people don't know how to take that coming from a woman. That serious, tactical mind has saved our lives so many times!" Her lips moved to her jawline, leaving a string of little kisses all the way to her earlobe before lapping at it gently, earning a soft mewling from its owner. "Then, when you  _don't_  have to charge into battle or take care of a dire problem, you turn into this sweet little kitten."

Her heart was pounding again. "I do? Really? No one has ever…"

"You do."

Throwing her arms around Natalia, she pushed her eyes into the side of her neck as she trembled. "I-is it alright if I never leave you, ever again? Because… no one's ever said anything like this to me! Or made me feel like I have any value besides as a fighter and a healer! I feel s-so…"

Lips pushed into the crown of her head as gentle hands caressed her sweat-dampened back, trying to soothe her sobbing lover. "Shhhh, it's okay. It's okay, Tear; I've got you right here. And I'm never going anywhere."

They stayed like that for quite some time. When they finally realised the hour grew late, Tear sat up to take her leave, feeling arms slide around her from behind and smiling.

"It's amazing we resisted for so long," Natalia admitted. "I feel magnetically drawn to you."

Giggling, she glanced down at the hands so near her chest. "I think you're just magnetically drawn to my breasts." The hands raised to grope them roughly, and she let out a shaky, "Ohhh…"

"Maybe you're right."

Tear could feel arousal building again after a few moments of fondling. Somehow, the sensation of two little pink peaks against her own back only added to the heat it created. A thumb and forefinger pressed into either side of one of her own, and she sucked in a sharp breath.

"Tear? Is- are you alright?"

"Yes, I… nnhh, it's too much…" The hands vanished, and she breathed a sigh of mingled relief and disappointment. "Wow."

"Sorry." Her face edged around Tear's side and kissed the nipple in question. "All better?"

With a blast of exasperated laughter, she said, "You  _know_  that's only making it worse." Natalia held her gaze as she wrapped both lips around it, and Tear's smile faded as her eyes slid closed. "A-ah…"

That went on for longer than either of them would care to admit. Natalia seemed content to try, and Tear couldn't muster the willpower to fight her off. After a moment, she switched to the other peak, and Tear wound a hand into her hair to hold her there. It was strange, but she had a feeling that just about any partner she had taken to her bed would have attempted the same, given her bust size.

"Y-you don't have to stop," she whispered when Natalia sat back and tucked a flaxen strand behind her ear, clearing her throat in embarrassment. "Not if you're, um… enjoying that."

But the princess only shook her head. "It's getting really late. And it's probably strange that I just spent so much time on your breasts when I didn't think I had any interest in them before.  _Any_  breasts!"

"Don't worry about it too much. All of this is strange for both of us."

"You're right about that!"

Almost afraid of the answer, she whispered, "You really… like them? Mine."

"Almost as much as you like my cute little princess toes," she joked. But when Tear only dipped her head further in shame, Natalia kissed the side of her breast before sitting up more to stroke her cheek. "I was only teasing. Sorry."

"I-it's alright. I do think they're cute. And so are your breasts, by the way; I didn't really comment, but… I… where are you going?"

Though she had been afraid Natalia was leaving, she released that fear when she saw her kneeling on the floor. "Nowhere."

"Oh. Then what are-  _Natalia!"_

A storm of different emotions welled up in her when she felt the princess's lips meet the tip of her big toe. Mostly shame that she was doing that for her, but also gratitude that she was so sweet and kind. Shock that someone of such high standing was doing something so servile and degrading. She tried to curl her toes away from her, to cease such a ridiculously unnecessary display of affection, but Natalia raised her calf enough to kiss the tip of each toe even with them curled. What a stubborn Lanvaldear she was.

"A-alright, I get it," she finally laughed nervously when she felt her switch to the other foot, kissing under the toes, down along the arch. "You want us to be even."

"I want you to know your toes are cute, too," she said as she moved up the ankle to the calf. "That I'm not 'the beautiful one'. You are so beautiful!"

"Natalia, you don't have t… oh. Are you going f-"

Fingertips pressing into the insides of her thighs until they parted cut off all further words. From that moment on, she couldn't speak; lips were tugging on the fur above her obscenely wet sex. They didn't stay there long, trailing downward, and she threw a forearm over her eyes as if it would help block out what was happening next.

"Ah!" she gasped, falling backward onto the bed.

"You're so sweet," Natalia purred before kissing again.  _There!_  Why would she want to put her mouth on one of the few places that had to be dirtier than her feet? But the lips pressed into other lips again, sliding amongst them, parting them just enough so that a wayward tongue could experience her sweetness again. "Nnhhh… thank you."

"Mnah?" she managed to ask. Not that it was truly a word.

"For this feast. Thank you, Tear. I want to devour all of you."

Everything bled together after that. Tear raised her legs, balanced them on Natalia's back as she felt the tongue bringing her even more pleasure than riding her thigh had done. She couldn't even tell how long they had been at it when another finish burst over her and shot into every bone, every vein. But it was fantastic.

"Don't…" Clearing her throat, she pushed up onto her elbows, the simple action causing her far more difficulty than it should have. "Don't tell me… you learned  _that_  at finishing school!"

"I didn't," she giggled, licking her lips clear of essence that Tear couldn't believe was there. "But I heard things. Enough to have an idea of what to try."

"Maybe… I can try that on you… another time?"

Cheeks already flushed but her eyes and shy smile now matching the redness, Natalia whispered, "I would love that. But I can't expect it from you tonight; not after I wore you out so badly."

"Thank you for… for understanding."

The time had come for Tear to dress and return to her room. Natalia dressed her, taking great care to kiss any area that was about to be covered up, and Tear found her eyes welling with tears from the careful treatment. By the end of it, there weren't many places that Natalia's lips hadn't been.

Natalia only pulled on her nightgown to see her to the door. Tear wanted to repeat the same actions, kissing soft peaks and tapering legs, but found she was still too winded; that would be a debt owed until another night. They shared a brief kiss on the inside of it before they eased the barrier to the outside world open.

"I'll see you in the morning," Natalia promised with a small smile. "And for a lot of mornings after that."

Bowing very slightly, she whispered, "Okay." Then she put the wig back on. "I feel stupid wearing this now."

"Hey, it was kind of sexy for a minute," she chuckled under her breath. "But yeah, I'm pretty sure we don't need that anymore. We can just be ourselves."

"Ourselves." Darting in, she left another brief kiss on Natalia's lips that gave her a head rush, because the door was technically open. Not that anyone was up that late. "Sleep well."

"Goodnight,  _Ric._ " Then she closed the door before Tear could complain about the nickname, a giggle floating out from the other side.

~ o ~

"I still don't see why we have to stop at Nam Cobanda Isle again!" Luke was complaining as they rode the elevator up. Mieu was sitting on his shoulder, happy as a clam to be there. "There's nothing important here; just a bunch of theater weirdos and Fon machines!"

"Fon machines," Guy droned in a trancelike voice, drool emerging at the corner of his mouth.

"Be quiet, all of you," Natalia warned as the car came to a stop, the door hissing open. "Do whatever you want; Tear and I have to drop something off. Maybe go play that game-machine with the dragon."

Anise sighed, arms behind her head as she walked along. "Boooo, that thing is  _so_  annoying. Every time I get to the final boss, he kicks my butt!"

As they left the elevator room, Jade said, "Hmm." Once Tear had turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow, he said, "I wonder if the Keterburg Hotel has an infestation of some kind."

"Why do you say that?" Natalia asked.

"Both of you have similar red marks on your necks. If there is a pestilence in the hotel, the staff ought to be notified so they can rectify the problem. A high-class establishment such as that can't afford such a blow to their reputation."

Immediately, Anise was turning wide eyes on Tear and Natalia, a budding smile on her lips. Guy and Luke looked completely oblivious, the former already wandering off to look at the Fon machinery. Jade, on the other hand, was intensely suspicious as always, and Tear had to carefully compose her face to keep from giving the shrewd man anything more to latch onto.

"Who knows?" Natalia said easily, and Tear admired her ability to stay cool under duress. "Maybe we're both allergic to the tea."

Carrying the package between them, Tear and Natalia left the others behind and made their way between stalls and displays until they found the costuming department again. Every few minutes, they exchanged a smile or a giggle; it had been that way since they met for breakfast, and while making ready for departure. Every spare moment was used to share a stolen kiss. Neither of them were ready for the rest of the team to find out they were intimately linked… but they saw no reason that should mean denying themselves such simple pleasures.

"Ah!" The woman was still in her overalls when she spotted Tear and the package. Either that, or she owned several pairs. "Returning the costume already, I see. That was fast!"

"Thank you very much," she told her with a slight bow as Natalia handed it over.

"Did you get everything you wanted out of it?"

"Yes," she said with a slight smile, glancing in Natalia's direction. "I did. But you were right; it served its purpose and now someone else can make use of it. Tell Noir it's perfect."

All was quiet as the two newly-awakened lovers enjoyed a shared moment. Though Tear had been deathly afraid her idea would backfire, and it had, the end result was beyond her wildest dreams. In trying to help a friend, she gained someone to share her life with.

Then the woman muttered just loud enough for them to hear, "Which one of you wore it?"

"Hm?"

"Which one? I have a feeling it was you, blue-eyes, but I guess it could have been the blonde."

"I'm s-sure we don't know what you're talking about," Natalia told the sly-eyed woman.

"Ohhh, I'm sure you do. I've seen that spark of young love many times over the years, and when this one came in-" She indicated Tear with a nod, who dipped her head in shame "-she had all the obvious signs. Even if she probably had no idea herself."

Leaning in, Tear desperately pleaded, "Keep your voice down! We… I mean, this isn't- I don't want anyone to think-"

"Oh, don't worry, I won't go blabbing it around elsewhere. I know how stuffy and repressive some of the other cities can be. But nobody in Nam Cobanda would care about two young ladies finding each other in this mixed-up, crazy world, I can promise ya that!"

"Thank you," Natalia told her even more urgently with several bows, face white as a sheet. "Not that I'm confirming what you're accusing us of, but I… thank you for your discretion!"

Laughing merrily, she got the costume and wig laid aside and reached up to pat a cheek on each face. "Happiness and prosperity to the both of you. Nothing would thrill me more than to know I helped a young couple beat the odds — especially when they're so much bigger odds than usual." Then she turned away as if she had decided she were done with them. "Come back soon!"

As they made their way toward the Albiore, Tear walked a little closer to Natalia and whispered, "How could she know? I mean — th-that's so… I never said a word!"

"Maybe she has psychic powers," Natalia mused, eyes wide with disbelief. "With everything we've seen, that's not  _completely_  unrealistic."

"Yes. I'm worried she could be a threat to us."

"Oh, don't be silly; she just wants us to be happy." Her hand slipped into Tear's, and though she tensed, a moment later she forced herself to relax. "And I am happy, my shadow in the night."

Face beet red, she hissed, "Please,  _please_  stop calling me that, Tiara-Toes. It's the only thing worse than 'Ric'!"

The silly title she fired back with  _did_  make Natalia laugh, but didn't embarrass her equally to the nicknames she had for her. "Alright, Mystearica. Whatever my Midnight Lover wants."

The blushing didn't fade at all, but Natalia's lips pushing into Tear's red cheek at least brought a smile to her face that lasted all the way to the elevator, and even lingered once back on the ship. True joy tended to do that to a person. Besides, Tear could never stay mad at her princess.

THE END


End file.
